Facing the Shadow: The Companion Healing the Shadow of the Toxic Feminine

I stood there face to face with the most frightening spirit I have ever seen. It's black body, looming presence, and a smoke like mist surrounded the room, me, and the women in front of me.

I came here spiritually from the present time to this moment in the past to cut ties with this woman who had shattered my dreams of safety and acceptance. What I didn't expect was to see a grisly black hand on her shoulder which led me to look past her and come eye to eye with this entity I had fought desperately to avoid. I trembled in fear, shear terror at what I was seeing. It didn't speak it only stood as a presence in the room. I could feel how much hate it had towards me. How it wanted to see me suffer. I was so scared but I managed to ask it who it was. It didn't answer, but I heard one of my spirit guides say to me. It's called, "The Original" or "The Companion". I suddenly found myself standing there with a mirror in my hands and the only thing that came to mind was to tell this Companion to look at its reflection.

Suddenly it transformed from this black, pointed teeth, gruesome entity to a beautiful angelic like spirit and light filled the room. It was gone but what was left in this room from my memory was the terrifying woman I came here to cut ties with. She was sobbing, sacred, and repeatedly apologizing to me for the awful things she had said to me in that moment. She was begging for me to help her. Surprisingly, I was unmoved by her pleas. I told her that I wasn't responsible for her healing. She would have to take responsibility for her actions and herself. The cord was indeed cut between us, but I was left with a memory that I would never forget.

Years past and every once in a while I would see the dark figure in my room after waking from nightmares it had whispered to me while I slept. I would see dark shadows in corners when a woman was around me who I felt powerless around. I would see it when clients would come in dealing with the same themes in her life.

About the archetype "The Companion"

Before we incarnate we sit down with our guides and plan out our lives. We choose a blueprint that holds all our information to carry with us into our life. To add flavor to our life we will choose archetypes to work with during our life. Sometimes these archetypes will continue to follow us through multiple lives in order for us to fully integrate them. The Companion archtype is a Toxic/Wounded Feminine archetype that embodies these themes:

• Feelings of hatred and revenge

• Self-hatred for allowing others to treat us poorly

• Loneliness and powerlessness

• Blinding rage

• Desires for acceptance and companionship

• Safety in our relationships

• Desiring that someone get their karma for their wrong doings "They deserved it" "That's what they get for all the _______ they caused"

• Terror, fear, confusion, chaos.

• Shame around our natural survival instincts (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)

• Regret of our lack of action taken when someone has hurt us or tried to control us

Men experience this shadow also but if you have chosen to incarnate as a women in this life, this maybe collective themes you experience at this time.

How does "The Companion" show up in our lives.

Think of "The Companion" like a frenemy. That women in your life that wants to know you and gets close to you but then starts to hurt you. Small at first with little comments here and there that plant seeds of doubt. She invites herself to functions you go to because you are getting around others that could benefit you, and she really wants a piece of that too. She may start to point out all your partners wrong doings they do to make you focus on what is wrong so you blow it out of proportion and start to sabotage your happiness. You might be doing really well at work or in business and she then start mentioning how you are jealous of her. This is "The Companion" the friend that hurts you for your own good.

But before we go villianizing "The Companion" lets talk about the other side.

The other side of the "Companion"

On the other side of this toxic feminine is envy. Envy looks like this giant fly that follows some people around. It is a mean spirited entity. Envy is the toxic masculine counterpart to this. This frenemy in your life feels inadequate in some way and sees in you something they wish they had. Regardless, both you are reflecting dissatisfaction back to the other. Neither one of you can see just how amazing you are individually. There is a lack of gratitude and self reflection here for both parties.

While this isn't to reason through someone's harmful behavior, boundaries and determining how close they need to be to you is highly important. The Companion also brings with it confusion and chaos. When things finally come to a head for this connection you are left with,

"Why did this person do this to me?"

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"Where did things go wrong?"

Envy being a toxic masculine energy, you will get someone who will lash out at you in some way. Because the masculine requires action for the person who is being driven by this shadow. This lashing out is a ritual for this person. It becomes their pattern. If you listen closely when they speak of their past, they will tell you of their past reactions.

The point here to clear up the confusion is this:

What this person did to you has nothing to do with you. This was their own internal war that they were projecting onto you. However, your soul signed up with their soul to do this work. So now you have to face what you are responsible for. Facing your shadow, The Companion.

Journal prompts to help you get started:

• How do I respond when others try to control me?

• What past regrets do I have around my responses to others in situations?

• When have I been taught that my power was too much?

• When have I ignored my intuition and what happened?

• What emotions do I suppress and why? ~ Anger, revenge, sadness, loneliness.

Where does the Companion live~ addressing the root.

To help you truly understand the depth of "The Companion" and where it resides in your energy systems. It sits in your heart chakra. There in your heart it begins to build a wall. What some spiritualist and those that practice "Emotion Code" call a "Heart Wall." The Companion is the gatekeeper here. In some misguided way it desires to protect you from those that may harm you, but on the other side it keeps people out altogether. Continuing to feed the deep seated feelings of loneliness. It will even keep you out of the special places in your heart where you beautiful light resides. We start to isolate ourselves and find it difficult to even connect to feelings of love for the important people around us. Always hyperventilate of what hurt is going to happen next.

How to integrate the lessons of "The Companion"

This gatekeeper desires that you believe in yourself. To know just what amazing power you hold within yourself and in your voice. That you have everything you need within you to discern if someone is right for you.

• That boundaries doesn't mean rejection and being honest won't lead to punishment.

• That doubt can be a call inward not that there is something wrong. It's a call to look at your values.

• That you value someone that respects you, is emotionally safe, communicates clearly with you.

• That someone can love me without owning me, and that you can love someone else without losing yourself.

Shadow work like the journal prompts above are a great way to get started with facing this shadow.

Awareness is key when it comes up for you. Akashic record readings we can look at your blueprint to see what archetypes your soul signed up to work with.

In Divine Feminine Reiki sessions we actually journey back to a moment in your life between you and another person to face and address what happened. You may not see the shadow like I did and that's OK. What matters is we can connect to your higher self to see how an empowered you would've done something differently. This is great to learn important lessons and how we can move forward in future situations. We can also balance the scales of power dynamics here. Understanding how we gave our power away and extending love, forgiveness, and acceptance towards that part of us that needed that at that time.

Somatic release

Sometimes we need to release these energies somatically in the body. Emotional freedom tapping is an amazing way to accept that part of us and allow us to release that shadow.

A great phrase and sequence for EFT can be:

Set 1:

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel Fear

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel Anger

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel Sadness

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel Pain/Hurt

OR

Set 2 (going deeper)

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel Rage

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel Pain/Hurt

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel hatred

I totally and completely accept myself even though I feel lonely & powerless

You may cry, yawn, cough, or sneeze uncontrollably during these. That is ok allow this to come you can say the phrases to yourself but continue to tap through the sequence.

Aftercare for releasing this Archetype

When you are able to release your "Companion" it is VERY normal to feel relief and sadness at the same time. This part of you has been the only part of you that rose up to protect you. It has been a friend to you in many ways. Yet it also hurts you too. Allow yourself to grief the ending of this internal toxic friendship with gratitude for the lessons.

Really take care of yourself after this release as your energy systems recalibrate.

Lots of water

Grounding in nature

Coloring

Bubble bath.

Ask your inner child what she would like to do.

Final thoughts

The Companion is not your enemy.She’s a wounded part of you asking to be seen, acknowledged, and integrated.

When you reclaim your power, speak your truth, and tend to your heart with compassion—she no longer needs to protect you.

You are safe to be you.You are powerful beyond measure.And you are not alone.